Introduction

Although it is easier said than done, we do, to some extent, “choose” how we are going to react to adversity. There are generally two ways to react to something in your career going awry:

• Flexible thinking
• Rigid thinking

Structure vs Content of Thinking

It turns out that the way we react to adversity is all about the structure of our thoughts rather than their content.

Here is an example to illustrate this important difference:

Consider these two thoughts:

Thought #1:

I’d prefer the approval of my team members and manager and would like to have their approval more often than not

Thought #2:

I must have the approval of my team members and manager and have to have it more often if not always

Note how both thoughts above have essentially the same content. In both cases, the person thinking them have a desire for more approval. But the two thoughts are different. What differs is their structure. Thought #1 is flexible, while Thought #2 is not.

Thought #2 is an example of a Rigid Thought or Belief.

Rigid beliefs, like Thought #2 above, paint us into cognitive corners: thinking traps of our own design that prevent us from seeing solutions.

I call rigid thinking “traps” because that’s exactly what happens to your brain when you engage in rigid thinking:

• It traps you in an unpleasant, unproductive cycle of poor reactions and interactions.

In the example above, a person who holds on to a rigid belief about needing approval all the time will tend to be worried about getting approval, losing approval, and even when they receive approval, will be anxious about when the approval will be withdrawn.

Flexible Thinking to the Rescue!

Unlike rigid thinking, flexible thinking helps us be goal-orientated, and although it will not completely remove unpleasant feelings such as frustration, worry, or annoyance, flexible thoughts do help us rise above them and consequently, achieve our goals.

Here are some examples of Flexible versus Rigid Thinking to illustrate the point:

Rigid Thoughts

• Do not allow for failure or error
• Do not tolerate imperfection
• Must be satisfied immediately and completely
• Do not accept failure or imperfection in others

Flexible Thoughts

• Allow for normal error and failure, in fact, expects quite a bit of failure during the course of a lifetime
• Allow for and tolerate imperfection. Acknowledge that perfection is a mythical, unhelpful idea
• Can delay gratification and acknowledge that 100% complete satisfaction is very rare
• Allow for the imperfection of others and expect occasional, even regular failures

Gaining Control of Your Thinking

To stop counterproductive, rigid thinking, you’ll need to practice flexible alternatives to rigid beliefs, experiment with new ways of doing things, and train yourself to be less demanding of yourself and others.

There are a variety of methods you can use to combat rigidity in your thinking. Here are a few of the most powerful:

Become aware of the situations that lead to rigid thinking

We all have unique triggers for rigid thinking. For some, these triggers are situations that threaten their career, or their self-esteem.

For others, situations that are likely to result in conflict or disapproval could be triggers.

Knowing the situations that trigger your rigid thinking is a good first step in becoming more flexible in your approach.

Experiment with behaviour by placing yourself in challenging situations

One of the best ways of changing rigid beliefs is by challenging them with action.

If your triggers revolve around perfection, you need to experiment with the consequences of imperfection by immersing yourself in your imperfections, or perhaps even purposefully seeking out tasks that will have real risks of failure.

If your triggers are for approval, then being disapproved of will teach you a lot about how to manage your thinking—if you prepare yourself with flexible alternatives first!

Seek out coaching

Doing all of this alone can be tough. Life is busy and resources are limited, so getting someone to help you achieve more flexible thinking can be very useful.

I’ve helped hundreds of professionals just like you to take control of their thinking to get more out of their careers and lives. Give me a call or email and we can talk about how I can help you.